The universe is always working in funny ways. Its always flowing, creating, influencing. What goes around comes around is not just a common saying or a famous song, but rather a staple principle that is always working to bring a sense of equality or support back to those who recognise and respect it. Its not about an eye for an eye or about giving and taking. It’s about giving and giving back and being grateful. I try to live by my life motto – infinite love and gratitude – this doesn’t mean having to be in favour or to try to love and be happy with everybody in the world, it simply means to respect and be grateful for the things that make you happy and fullfill you. You dont have to like everyone or make them happy, just treat them decently, like an equal human being and I think you should be allowed to expect the same from others. You also dont need to be loved by all that are in your life, but being respected and treated equally is important.

I do have to admit though, holding up these ideals everyday can at times, be very challenging and I struggle. I think injustice is frustrating and hurtful and is very hard to deal with. I reject it and I feel like I have to defend myself when someone is directing their unjust views at me. I think it terribly unfair when people disregard how their words make others feel. My instict when I’m hurt by someone’s words is immediatly to fight back and defend, but sometimes I have to realise that there isn’t much point is putting so much energy into defense when you know it’s not going to change the other person.

I experienced an injustice towards myself recently, which I found to be keeping me in a foul mood for much longer than it should have. It was hard for me to let go of it and a struggle to not allow it to cloud my judgement towards my actions. Interestingly enough, it seems I was actually in favour of the universe this week and something happened to me that made me realise that I was angry about something that was ultimately so small and insignificant. There is always something working underneath that will surface at the perfect time and take away the frustrations and open you up to something more important and insightful.

Yesterday morning, while I was setting up our chairs at work outside in the sun huffing and puffing, an old man caught my eye. He was bent over staring at the ground, sort of shuffling around slowly. I thought it rather odd until I realised he was collecting the fallen chestnuts that were scattered all around him on the ground. He shuffled closer and closer until he reached the entrance to our beer garden, but saw me working and thought otherwise. Without quite knowing why, I just immediately started to search and pick up the best looking chestnuts I could find inside our garden. I raced after him, who was now joined by his wife, whom also toted a bag of fallen chestnuts. “Excuse me, hello, I found these in our beer garden, please take them!” I offered him my handfull of chestnuts, which they both accepted graciously. I wished them a happy day and went about my work when the old man approched me, with a little book in his hand. “I would like to give you this, a small pocket bible with the New Testament and Psalms inside, as an exchange for your gift.” I assured him I was just happy to help collect chestnuts but he wanted to give me a small book that held one of the worlds greatest belief systems. Frankly I’m not particularly interested in any kind of religion so the book itself held no weight with me, but it was more the act of his exchange with something that obviously meant something to him, that really stuck with me. So I took the small book from him and thanked him and he and his wife shuffled away around the corner, I like to believe, on their way to the next chestnut tree.

How interesting that such an exchange could make me feel like an equal again. That little book stayed in my pocket all day as a little reminder, not that God is looking after me, but that the universe is working in my favour and what goes around comes back around.

I’m so happy for this experience no matter how small the exchange seemed, it carries a deeper meaning to me, and is something that I think I will remember for a very long time.

the chestnut exchange.


lily e saville


i’m starting to feel it again
i can feel it in my stomach
in my chest
something’s blooming
my words are starting to rise up again
up, out through my fingertips
tap tap tap
i feel release through each tap, push, breath


by lily e saville

The past two years of my life have greatly fluctuated between being the best time of my life and the hardest. Moving to another city, on the other side of the world meant giving up all sense of stability and comfort. Even though it was a scary thing to say goodbye to all things comfort zone, I knew great things were going to happen to me and I was ready to welcome what came my way with an open heart and mind.

I didn’t go into it thinking that everything was going to be easy, I knew it was going to be a difficult and major adjustment for me. I knew though, it was going to help me grow up. Having experienced the highest moments of my life here in Munich, and also my lowest points that I’ve ever had, I have learnt so much about my mind and body and how to care for them, to feed them nourishing things, so that I may bloom the way I want to and how I can embrace or tackle what comes my way.

Life is so full of unexpected things, people, feelings, you can never be properly prepared for what comes. I cannot explain the amount of emotions that I have felt through the last two years in Munich, the people I’ve met, relationships made, music found, food eaten. That’s what it’s all about though, isnt it? Living and feeling, creating, moving, growing, connecting, smiling, crying, hugging, kissing, laughing.

I feel now I’m finally beginning to properly settle, my heart is happy, my mind and body are both growing healthier. I have energy now, to breathe, create, speak, write, eat, live and love with everything I can give.

My previous blog showed me parts of myself that I’ve now grown away from, and I didn’t want to hold on to it all. I have librated all those words and thus liberating myself to create new.

Here’s to new.

lily e saville